50 lbs

50 pounds.   That's how much I have to loose to reach the goal weight the doctor set for me back in September.  Of course, at the time I only needed to loose 30.  I was working out and watching what I ate for a couple of weeks, but then came birthdays and holidays.  In September it was pizza and cake for Ruby's first birthday.  Not too bad I thought, wouldn't set me back much.  Then it was tacos and cake for Julian's birthday in October- along with Halloween candy of course.  In November it was pie for Kaleb's birthday (he loves pumpkin pie more than cake).  And then two- yes two- Thanksgiving meals, complete with dessert.  December of course was filled with Christmas cookies and egg nog, topped off by more cookies and cake on (and after) New Years Eve.  When it was all said and done, I had GAINED weight.  And for the first few days after I realized I had gained the extra weight, I was just depressed.  Being heavy puts too much stress on my body, which makes my joints hurt and causes my fibromyalga to flare up (which makes everything hurt).  The idea that I might feel this way for the rest of my life, that I might never be able to run with my kids or climb a hill with out feeling like I wanted to cry, made me want to, well, cry.  

And then it happend.  I woke up one morning and decided that I was not going to let this beat me.  That I would not give up with out a fight.  I started not only to watch what I was eating, but also how much I was having.  I started to mind my calories and exercise when I could.  Most importantly, I started setting smaller goals that I can use as stepping stones along the way.  That may seem silly, but I know that if I get too focused on the 50 lbs, then I'll end up getting discouraged and give up.  So I'm setting a goal for each month.  For the first month, my goal was to cut back on sugar and junk food and start to exercise more.  No weight loss goal, just improved eating and exercise habbits.  I am now at the end of the first month and.....I did it.  I work out at least 4 times a week here at home and have cut WAY back on sugar and junk food.  As a bonus, I lost 5 lbs this past month.  Just from those simple changes!

Entering month two, I have decided to get a gym membership and start to work toward a goal of 10 more pounds.  But I'm not going to get upset if I don't loose 10 this month.  That's just my next milestone.  The trainer at the gym is going to help me develop an exercise plan that will focus on weight loss.  I am aiming to go to the gym 2-3 times a week and continue to work out at home.  I am still watching how much I'm eating and keeping the sugar to a minimum.  Its hard, I won't lie.  I love sweets. I just keep reminding myself that no sweet treat is ever going to make me feel as good as running with my kids this summer.

A heavy heart

I have followed the story of Liam Witt for some time now through his parents blog (http://princeliamthebrave.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html).  This brave little boys fight with cancer inspired his parents to found Cookies For Kids Cancer.  Being able to follow Liam's story so closely lead to emotional connection that I never expected.  Needless to say that his sudden death on Monday, January 24, 2011 was like a punch in the gut.  While I do not even pretend to imagine the sadness and greif that his parents are feeling, I still find myself crying for this child.  To have lived such a short life and to have felt so much illness in that time is a nightmare at best. 

Liam's parents have asked that we take the sadness and turn it into motivation.  They are asking that everyone who can please oraganize a Cookies for Kids Cancer cookie sale or donate to the cause.  All the proceeds go directly to fund research and delevopment of treatments to help children who, like Liam, are fighting for their lives everyday.  Many of these children also depend on blood and platelet transfusions, so if you can, please consider donating at your local blood bank.

Please, share Liam's story.  Help his parents carry on their wonderful work and keep Liam's memory alive. 

A balancing act

Last year when I choose to return to school via online college courses, I had a new baby just 3 months old, a 4 year old (who is often a handful due to developmental delays) and a 7 year old.   The baby was very easy going, the boys were at school during he day and getting school work done wasn't too hard.  Fast foward a year and a few months.  The boys are still at school during the day, but I now have a cranky, teething 16 month old at home who thinks its funny to smack the keys on my computer as I type and to color in my text books when I'm not looking.  Add to that the fact that she has reached that stage in toddlerhood where she climbs on furniture and gets into everything because she wants to see what it is.  Her new found independence and curiosity makes it impossible for me to spend long periods of time at my desk.  I have had to resort to sitting on the sofa with my lap top computer so that I can type my papers and watch her at the same time.  (For the record, trying to do both at the same time is not very productive.) 

Now my days are getting up at 6:30 to get the boys ready for school then playing with Ruby (and sometimes my friends toddler as well) till lunch time.  After lunch I put her down for nap, or at least I try to.  On days she naps I do as much as I can while she's asleep- laundry, cleaning and school work.  After nap Ruby and I play until the boys come home from school.  Once the boys are home I try to spend time talking with them and helping with Kaleb's homework until my fiancee gets home from work.  Then its off to the kitchen to make dinner.  After dinner its all about bed times.  Once the kids are down its dishes and laundry before settling in to do school work.  I try to get to bed between midnight and 1a.m. 

So in the end, being a mom and a student has been a more difficult balancing act than I originally thought it might be.  But I know in the end that school will put me in a possition to take better care of my children.  And that makes it all worth while.  So to any mom's out there who are considering school- single, married, young or just young at heart- it is a challenge, but one that is not impossible, and one which is certainly worth taking on. 

An Introduction

I've been thinking about blogging for the last few months.  I am a stay-at-home mom right now and sometimes I just need to say something.  This blog will be filled with my simple ramblings and thoughts about what's going on in my life and the world around me. 

Perhaps I should begin with an introduction.  I'm a 30 year old mother with 3 young children- Kaleb is 8, Julian is 5, and Ruby is 16 months.  We'll get back to the kids in a moment. I also have cats and the grumpiest rabbit that has ever lived.  I went to school in Virgina, but now live in the midwest.  I have 2 brothers, a sister, a step-brother and 2 step-sisters.  I spent 10 years as a child day care worker and studying infant/toddler development.  Now I'm an at-home-mom and online college student.  I am divorced, but my ex-husband and his new wife are two of my best friends and and an improtant part of my family.  This might seem odd to some, but we're all happy and its good for the kids to see that we can get along.  I'm also engaged to be married for the second time to a wonderful man whom I share my life with. We are planning our wedding for next June.  I tend to have strong feelings about issues that involve children and sometimes I pop off at the mouth.  I don't expect everyone to agree with me and welcome polite discussion.  Rude, snotty comments will be deleted. Period.

Now, back to the kids.  Kaleb is my son from a previous relationship that just didn't work out.  My daughter Ruby is from my current relationship. Julian is my sister's son by birth and has lived with me since he was 2 1/2.  This is not something that we keep secret from him.  We don't want him to be ashamed that he isn't ours by birth or to feel lied to later in life. 

Well, there you go.  Now you know the basics.